Testimony: A married couple where one partner is HIV positive and the other is HIV negative

Being infected with HIV is not the end of the world. For discordant couples, living a happy life is possible. Niwemugeni Clementine (name changed upon request) is a 44-year-old woman from Bumbogo Sector in Gasabo District. She is HIV positive, while her husband is HIV negative. Here, she shares her journey and how she fulfills her duties as a woman in the family. 

Here is her story, as told to IRIBA NEWS.

IRIBA NEWS: Before we begin the interview, could you please tell us what work you do and where you live?

Niwemugeni: I live in Musave cell, Bumbogo sector, Gasabo district. I sell construction materials at Gisozi.

IRIBA NEWS: How did you discover your HIV status?

Niwemugeni: My first husband, the father of my two children, passed away in 2017 due to lung disease. We had separated before he died, and I never knew he had HIV. After our separation, I did not have any other partners. It was only when I met my current husband and we decided to get tested before marriage that I discovered my status. I was shocked to find out I was HIV positive while he was negative.

IRIBA NEWS: How did you and your partner react to the diagnosis?

Niwemugeni: At first, I couldn’t believe it. I laughed and told the doctor he must be mistaken. But after retesting, the diagnosis was confirmed. My partner was stunned, knowing how cautious I had been. He suggested we go to another clinic for a second opinion, but the result was the same.

IRIBA NEWS: What happened after you confirmed your status?

Niwemugeni: I was devastated. I lost over 5 kg in a week due to stress. My partner never abandoned me. He encouraged me and insisted we continue with our marriage plans. We visited CHUK, where we received counselling on how to live together safely. The doctors advised us on using condoms and the importance of adhering to my medication. Following this advice, we got married and have been living happily.

IRIBA NEWS: Do you know if none of your children have HIV?

                                                      Niwemugeni says that she is HIV positive, while her husband is not

Niwemugeni: None of our children have contracted HIV.

IRIBA NEWS: Did you tell your children and family about your status?

Niwemugeni: My children were too young to understand at first, but I have since told my older child. Some family members and friends knew, and their reactions were mixed. Some thought my partner was deceiving me, saying it was impossible for us to live together without him getting infected. But he stood by me, and we proved them wrong.

IRIBA NEWS: How has your relationship been over the years?

Niwemugeni: We have a strong and loving relationship. We follow the doctors’ advice meticulously. We use condoms and I take my medication regularly. We decided not to have more children and focus on raising the ones we have. My husband, who is also a widower, has three children of his own. Together, we are a big, happy family.

IRIBA NEWS: What message do you have for couples in a similar situation?

Niwemugeni: I want to tell them to stay strong. It’s not easy, but with love and support, you can overcome anything. Follow medical advice and keep hope alive. My husband always says, ‘Where there is love, nothing can prevent people from being together.’

National Perspective on HIV in Rwanda

In Rwanda, over 19,326 couples live with one partner being HIV positive. The Rwanda Biomedical Center (RBC) provides special counselling and follow-up programmes for these couples. Deputy Director Noella Bigirimana emphasises the importance of these programmes in preventing the spread of HIV within families.

Progress in HIV Control

According to Sister Marie Josee Maribori from RBC, while new infections are decreasing overall, they are increasing among youth aged 15-24, making up 35% of new infections according to the 2023 report.

However, Rwanda is among the top five African countries showing promising progress in combating HIV. With 95% of those infected aware of their status, 97.5% on antiretroviral therapy, and 98% having reduced viral loads, Rwanda is making significant strides towards the WHO goal of ending AIDS by 2030.

Clementine’s story is a powerful example of resilience and the strength that comes from love and medical support. Her journey offers hope to many others facing similar challenges, demonstrating that with commitment and adherence to medical advice, it is possible to live a fulfilling life together.

Written by Emma-Marie Umurerwa

emmadukunda@gmail.com