After five years of living in conflict, 61-year-old Jean Ndikubwimana and his 58-year-old wife, Laurence Mukankusi, are now living peacefully. Mukankusi says that her husband subjected her to various forms of abuse and even used to beat her. Some of their children were not attending school due to their parents’ conflicts. However, after receiving advice from local authorities, they are now living in peace and have made significant progress in their lives.
Ndikubwimana and Mukankusi live in the village of Ryarusaro, Butambamo cell, Nzahaha sector in Rusizi District. They testify that living in conflict prevented them from advancing in life. However, since their disputes ended, they have made significant progress, including building a nice house, bringing water and electricity to their home, and sending their children, who previously weren’t attending school, back to school.
Speaking with IRIBA NEWS, the parents of six children and grandparents of three explained that their conflicts mainly arose from the poor management of finances, where the husband would take all the money and misuse it, leading the family into extreme poverty. Whenever the wife would complain, the husband would beat her.
Jean Ndikubwimana regrets all the years he wasted by abusing his wife, saying that if he hadn’t mistreated her, they could have accomplished so much together. He explains that although his modern farming generated significant income, all the money went to waste because of his irresponsible spending.
He said, “I am a modern farmer and earn a lot of money from it, but the years I spent in conflict led to wasting all the money I made, to the point where even moving out of the very poor house we lived in seemed impossible[…]I used to drink alcohol, and come home to beat my wife. I constantly harassed her in a terrifying way, to the point that I was even jailed because of the conflicts.”
He continued, “I hold myself accountable for treating my wife poorly during that time. She dressed poorly, ate poorly, and had no respect among others. Our children didn’t attend school, and those years were a great loss to me. I am very grateful to President Kagame for his wise counsel, and also to our local leaders whose advice helped me change. Now, we are thriving; we’ve built a nice house with 50 iron sheets, brought electricity and water to our home, and even sent our children, who were not in school, to study.”
Laurence Mukankusi described the time of their conflict as a dark period in their household because they fell far behind in life. Neighbors would laugh at her, and she became the talk of the village due to the poor life she was living.
She said, “I was the kind of woman who didn’t even have clothes to wear. Whenever my husband came home, I would fear he might kill me, but thanks to the good advice from the authorities, I no longer get beaten. I am now a respected woman in my home, and my husband and I work together towards development. We also now counsel other families living in conflict, advising them that conflicts destroy, they don’t build.”
Anne Marie Dukuzumuremyi, the vice mayor of Rusizi District in charge of social welfare, said that every year, over 250 families resolve their conflicts through training provided to troubled families, as well as testimonies from those who have overcome conflicts.
She said, “The ones who don’t change, it’s due to human nature because change requires willingness. If a person is not willing, it’s hard to change them, even though teaching is a continuous process.”
She added that they have identified more than 500 families still living in conflict. In collaboration with churches and religious groups, they plan to reach out to these families, using testimonies from people who have successfully resolved their conflicts.
Written by: Sylvestre Bahuwiyongera
