Mu nkuru yacu yatambutse twabagejejeho inkuru yavugaga ku ‘Igikomere cyo ku mutima’ igice cya mbere, muri iyi nkuru tugiye kubagezaho igice cya kabiri, harimo n’ingingo ivuga ko n’uwagize uruhare mu bikorwa bibi ashobora kugira igikomere cyo ku mutima.
Umushakashatsi akaba n’umwanditsi w’ibitabo ku byerekeranye n’amahoro n’imibanire y’abagabo n’abagore Mukanzigiye Marie Goretti yatanze urugero ko umuntu ashobora kugira igikomere bitewe n’ibikorwa by’akarengane n’iyicarubozo yakorewe cyangwa se abe bakorewe ku ruhande rumwe ariko no ku rundi ruhande, uwabonye ibyo bikorwa bikorerwa inshuti n’abavandimwe, ndetse n’uwabyumvise uko byakozwe, bose barakomereka.
Byongeye kandi, ngo n’uwakoze ibikorwa bibi ashobora kugira igikomere kuko uko agenda yemera ko yakoze nabi aribaza ati kuki nabikoze? Ese nari nabaye inyamaswa? Ese ubu ni bande bazanyemera ko ndi umuntu nkabo nyuma yo gukora biriya byose? Ese bazongera kunyizera ko nta kibi nabakorera? iki na cyo ni igikomere.
Nanone, ngo ubuzima bwa buri munsi bwuzuyemo ibikomeretsa byinshi. Muri byo harimo gupfusha umwana, uwo mwashakanye, umuvandimwe cyangwa se inshuti, kubana n’ikibazo cy’uburwayi kikamara igihe kirekire (bikarushaho kuba bibi iyo ari uburwayi bwitwa ko budakira nka kanseri), gukora ugahomba, guhemukirwa n’uwo mwashakanye, gutandukana n’uwo mwashakanye, kwangwa n’uwo mwakundanaga mwiteguraga kubana, kubura akazi hagashira igihe kirekire, kwisanga mu bukene no kubura ubushobozi bwo kubaho uko bikwiye, n’ibindi byinshi.
Bisaba iki ngo igikomere cyo ku mutima gitangire gukira?
Igikomere cyo ku mutima aho kiva kikagera kirababaza kandi kiba kigomba gukira kugira ngo ubuzima bukomeze. Ni byiza ko hakorereshejwe ijambo ‘gutangira gukira. Ibi biragaragaza ko gukira igikomere cyo ku mutima bishobora gufata igihe kirekire.
Hari inzira nyinshi umuntu ashobora gutangiriramo urugendo rwo gukira igikomere.
Inzira ya mbere ni ukuvuga inkuru y’ubuzima bwamukomerekeje.
Mukanzigiye ati: “Kureka umuntu akavuga agahinda ke yisanzuye bimufasha gutangira urugendo rwo gukira igikomere cyo ku mutima. Mu by’ukuri abantu baba bakeneye kuganirira abandi ibibi banyuzemo. Abantu bashobora kuganira ari babiri cyangwa se bakaganira ari benshi mu itsinda ritarengeje abantu 10. Ni byiza gutoranya ahantu hatuje kugira ngo buri wese abashe kuvuga agahinda ke yisanzuye.”
Kubera iki ari byiza kureka abantu bakaganira ku bibazo byabo?
Impuguke ivuga ko mu kubaha urubuga rwo kuvuga akababaro kabo, abantu bashobora: “Kurushaho gusobanukirwa ibyababayeho n’imyifatire yabo byabateye, kurushaho gushobora kwakira ibyababayeho n’imyifatire byabateye, kurushaho gushobora kwakira ibyababayeho, kurushaho kwizera imbaraga z’Umuremyi ko zishobora kubakiza no kubahindurira amateka.”
Akomeza agira ati: “Ni gute twatega abandi amatwi neza? Kuki hari abantu bavuga ko umurimo wo gutega amatwi neza abandi bafite igikomere bigorana? Ni byo koko gutega amatwi neza umuntu ufite igikomere ku mutima biragorana kuko bisaba ko uwo mutu ubikora agomba kuba: abitayeho, ari umuntu ubika ibanga akaba atazigera abataranga, atabajora cyangwa se ngo abahe ibisubizo bihutiyeho, yiteguye kubatega amatwi neza kandi akumva akababaro kabo, atari bupfobye akababaro kabo akakagereranya n’ake bwite.”
Akomeza avuga ko umuntu utega amatwi uwahungabanye, biba bisaba ko amureka akavuga akababaro ke uko abyumva, n’uko ashaka. Bishobora gufata igihe kugira ngo ikibazo muzi kimenyekane.
Ibibazo bikurikira bishobora gufasha uteze amatwi gushishikariza undi kuvuga: “Byagenze gute? Wumvise umerewe ute muri wowe? Ese ni iki cyagukomereye kuruta ibindi byose? Ni byiza kumwereka ko umukurikiye kandi ko umwumva. Hari imyifatire yabugenewe: ushobora kumureba mu maso (bitewe n’uko mu muco we byemewe cyangwa se ko bidafatwa nk’ikinyabupfura gike), ushobora kugenda usubiramo amagambo yerekana ko umukurikiye nka: “yego”. Wirinda kujya wirebera hasi cyangwa hanze, cyangwa se ngo urebe kuri terefoni yawe igendanwa, cyangwa se ku isaha kuko yaba abona ko utamwitayeho. Rimwe na rimwe uge umusubiriramo ibyo wibuka yaba yakubwiye. Ibi bizamuha uburyo bwo gukosora ibyo yavuze cyangwa se kubisubiramo no gushimangira ibyo umweretse ko wumvise.”
Igihe umuntu yongeye guhungabanywa no gusubiramo ibyo yanyuzemo, si byiza kumureka ngo akomeze. Mureke abanze afate akanya gato aruhuke. Ashobora no kurira, uwo mwanya uwubahe ntumubuze kurira.
Umuntu ashobora gukomereka birenze bitewe n’uko icyamukomerekeje cyakozwe nkana cyangwa cyakozwe n’umuntu yari yizeye ko amukunda, ko atamuhemukira.
Umuntu usanzwe agira agahinda kenshi kubera ko afite ibyamukomerekeje mu bwana bwe byinshi cyangwa umuntu wahuye n’ibindi bibazo byamukomerekeje mbere yo guhura n’ikindi cyamukomerekeje mu gihe gito gishize.
Umurimo wo gutega amatwi muri babiri, ushobora gufata igihe kandi ukageza umuntu wakomeretse ku rwego rwo gukira igikomere cyo ku mutima.
Mbere yo gutandukana n’uwo wategaga amatwi, ashobora kukubwira ko hari ibyo akora na we akaba azi ko atari byiza, cyangwa se akakubwira impinduka z’umubiri zatewe n’imyitwarire yaturutse ku gukomereka.
Urugero: “Kubura ibitotsi, guhora mu buriri akumva nta kindi yakora usibye kuryama, kurya cyane cyangwa kubireka burundu, kunywa inzoga nyinshi nta kwitangira, kwirinda abantu no guhunga aho bateraniye nk’ubukwe, inama, kurwara umutwe udakira, igifu, guteragura k’umutima (maladie pyschosomatiques) n’ibindi.
Mu gihe akwifunguriye akakubwira ko ahura n’ibibazo birimo ibyo twavuze haruguru, icya mbere ugomba kumwereka ni uko ibirimo kumubaho bisanzwe bitewe n’ibibazo bidasanzwe yaciyemo ariko ko imyitwarire ye ifite ingaruka ku mubiri no ku buzima bwo mu mutwe, ushobora kumufasha kubivamo buhoro buhoro nta kumuhata nta no kumucira urubanza.”
Urugero: “Mu gihe abura ibitotsi, mushishikarize gukora siporo akunda, cyangwa se gukora imirimo y’amaboko nko guhinga (niba ari umuhinzi) kugira ngo nyuma yaho age abasha kuryama akeneye no gusinzira.”
Igihe gifasha mu gukira igikomere
Ni byo koko igihe kigira uruhare mu gukira igikomere ariko si ko buri gihe igikomere gikizwa n’igihe n’aho cyaba kirekire gute.
Yagize ati: “Ikibuza igihe kugira uruhare rwisanzuye mu kudufasha gukira igikomere, ni uko akenshi tugenda duhura n’ibindi bikomere byo mu buzima byiyongera ku byo twari dusanganywe. Bityo rero igihe gishobora kudufasha gusa kwemera ibyabaye, kubyakira no gukomeza ubuzima bitewe n’uko twabonye abadutega amatwi kandi bakanadufasha mu rugendo rwo gukira.”
Ibikomere byo ku mutima byose bishobora gukira habonetse udutega amatwi
Ni byo koko igikomere cyo ku mutima gishobora gukizwa no gutegwa amatwi ariko hari igihe umuntu aba akomeretse cyane bigasaba ubufasha bw’impuguke zabigize umwuga.
Mukanzigiye yagize ati: “Niba ahantu mutuye nta nzobere mu by’imyitwarire n’imitekerereze y’abantu (pyschologue et pyschiatres) bahari, umuganga yatanga ubufasha bwihuse mu gutanga imiti yo gufasha mu koroherwa no gusinzira. Mu gihe habayeho ibimenyetso bigaragaza ko uwakomeretse byamuviriyemo uburwayi bukomeye, kumutega amatwi ntibiba bigihagije.”
Kumenya uburemere bw’igikomere umuntu afite
Umubare w’ibibazo bafite ugendeye ku myifatarire itandukanye afite, inshuro ibyo bibazo bigaruka, ubukana bw’ibyo bibazo, igihe ibyo bibazo bimaze (amezi,…) ndetse niba ibyo bibazo bibabuza kwiyitaho cyangwa kwita ku miryango yabo.
Uko umuntu ukomeretse yarindwa kwiyahura
Kugira ngo umuntu wakomeretse agere ku rwego rwo kwiyahura aba yakomeretse bikabije.
Uwo muntu kandi aba yageze ahantu abura ubufasha bwamufasha kuva mu ‘gikombe cy’urupfu’. Icyo gikombe aba yakijyanywemo n’agahinda katewe ahanini no kubura abantu be icya rimwe, cyangwa se kubura ibintu by’agaciro kenshi mu buryo butunguranye.
Hari igihe igitekerezo cyo kwiyahura kibanzirizwa n’ibi bikurikira: “Kuba uwakomeretse atakigira icyo yitaho mu byamushimishaga, kuba atagira ikintu na kimwe aha agaciro harimo n’akazi, kuba asigaye aganira iby’urupfu cyane kuruta iby’ubuzima, kuba agaragara nk’umuntu ubuze ibyiringiro, anagaragaza ko nta muntu n’umwe umwitayeho mu mvugo no mu bikorwa, kuba yatangira gutanga ibintu by’agaciro yari atunze, kubaririza ibintu byica no kuvuga ku rupfu cyane, guhora ataka uburwayi bw’umutwe, guhunga abantu no kudashaka kujya aho abandi bari harimo n’inshuti n’abavandimwe, abo basengana n’ibindi.”
Icyakorwa mu kuganiriza uwo muntu wagaragaje ibimenyetso
Impuguke yatanze urugero rw’ukuntu umuntu watangiye kugaragaza ibimenyetso yaganirizwa : “Kare nagutekereje numva nshaka kukureba ngo nguhe akanya umbwire uko umeze muri iyi minsi. Mu minsi ishize nabonye usa n’aho wigunze cyane none naje ngo unganirire umbwire uko umeze. Ndabona usa n’aho utameze neza muri iyi minsi.Urumva umeze ute ubu tuvugana?.”
Ibindi bibazo wamubaza
“Ese urumva nagufasha iki?”
Andi magambo meza wamubwira: “Ntabwo uri wenyine ndahari kugira ngo ngufashe kuva mu bihe urimo. Ntugatinye kumpamagara igihe cyose ukeneye ko nkuba hafi, ndahari. Nta bwo mbasha kumva uko umeze, ariko ndahari kugira ngo nguhe ubufasha wankeneraho. Uri uw’agaciro. Urakenewe. Mbwira icyo nagufasha kuko ndahari ku bwawe.”
Mu bindi, impuguke yibutsa ko kugira igikomere cyo ku mutima ari ibisanzwe mu buzima kuko ubuzima bushobora gutera abantu ibikomere bitewe n’ibibazo biburimo bitandukanye. Haba hakenewe umuntu wizewe, ubika ibanga kandi wahuguwe mu gutega abandi amatwi neza. Uwo muntu aba agomba kuba azi kureba ibimenyetso byerekana ko uwo arimo gufasha akeneye ubufasha bwisumbuye bw’inzobere yabigize umwuga.
Mu gihe tubonye uwacu wakomeretse cyane kandi ushaka no kwikuraho ubuzima (kwiyahura), tugomba kumuba hafi cyane tukamwereka ko duhari kugira ngo tumufashe. Tugomba kandi kumukorera ubuvugizi kugira ngo ibyo akennye by’ibanze abibone bityo, bimugabanyirize umutwaro w’ubuzima.
Rose Mukagahizi
