Hafi inda imwe kuri buri nda eshanu ivamo. Nyuma yuko izanjye ubwanjye zivuyemo, ndabizi ukuntu ibi bitera agahinda kenshi.
Bijyanye n’amaperereza nakoze ajyanye n’inkuru mbarankuru ‘Miscarriage: The Search for Answers’, cyangwa ‘Kuvamo kw’inda: Gushaka ibisubizo’, ugenekereje mu Kinyarwanda, jyewe Tulip Mazumdar na mugenzi wanjye utegura ibiganiro Gabriella O’Donnell twavuganye n’abagore mu bice bitandukanye byo ku isi, ku byo banyuzemo byo kuvamo kw’inda zabo.
Agahinda gahuriweho na bose, ariko kwitabwaho no gufashwa abagore babona mu gihe inda ivuyemo cyangwa nyuma yaho, akenshi biterwa n’aho batuye, nkuko bigaragazwa n’inkuru z’aba bagore.
Milcah Mwamadi, w’imyaka 37, w’i Lilongwe, muri Malawi
Natakaje umwana wanjye wa mbere inda yanjye imaze amezi atanu.
Ako kanya numvise amazi arimo kuza hagati y’ibibero amanuka ku maguru. Nagiye ku bitaro, mbwirwa ko inda yanjye yavuyemo.
Sinari nzi ibyari birimo kuba ku mubiri wanjye. Sinibwiraga ko nzagomba kubyara umwana wanjye upfuye.
Nasizwe mu cyumba cy’ibitaro ndi jyenyine. Byanteye ihungabana rikomeye.
Natangiye kujya ku bise, sinari nzi icyo nakora. Muri za filime, abantu batangira gusunika iyo bagize ibise, rero nafashe ubwo bumenyi, mbigenza gutyo.
Ndasunika, nkomeza gusunika, ububabare bwari burenze kwihanganirwa.
Nuko numva ikintu kimvuyemo. Yari umwana wanjye. Sinari nzi icyo nakora. Nari jyewe jyenyine.
Mu bitekerezo, byari bigoye cyane. Mu muryango mugari (sosiyete) w’iwacu, ntuba ukwiye kuvuga ku kuvamo kw’inda. Ni kirazira.
Akenshi kuvamo kw’inda bivugwa ko ari umugore wabiteye, nkaho hari ikintu wakoze kubushake kugira ngo utakaze umwana.
Abantu ntibita ku ngorane zose zo mu buvuzi ushobora guhura na zo mu gihe utwite. Ibi byatumye icyo gihe numva mbabaye, nkaho ntari umugore bihagije.
Ntekereza ko twese ducyeneye kuvuga ku mugaragaro ibyo kuvamo kw’inda, bitabaye ibyo wumva wigunze cyane kandi udashobora gukira.
Abantu bashobora kubaza bati: “Kuki urimo kurira nyuma y’amezi macyeya gusa utwite?” Ariko yari inda kandi yavuyemo.
Natakaje abana batatu, ariko mfite abana batatu ubu. Haba hacyiri icyizere nyuma yo kuvamo kw’inda.
Dr Maki Kagami, w’imyaka 50, w’i Tokyo, mu Buyapani
Inda eshanu zanjye zavuyemo. Zose zarankomereye, ariko inda ya gatatu yarangoye by’umwihariko.
Natangiye kuva amaraso mpita menya ko hari ikintu kitameze neza. Twari twemeye ubutumire bwo kwitabira ibirori, nuko uwo munsi tubijyamo.
Abantu muri ibyo birori bari barimo kuvuga ku bana babo bateye ubwuzu, bavuga ko nanjye n’umugabo wanjye dukwiye kugira umwana. Nagize agahinda, ariko numva ko ngomba gukomeza kumwenyura.
Nakomeje kubabara cyane mu nda, ariko sinumvise nshobora kuva mu birori mbere yuko birangira. Nuko nyuma yaho twinjira mu modoka tujya imuhira.
Muri icyo gihe nari ndimo kuva amaraso menshi, kuburyo numvaga ari nkaho ibyo mu nda yanjye birimo gushwanyagurika.
Ngeze imuhira nagiye mu bwiherero (bugezweho), nuko mbona igi rikomeye (rifashe) rimvamo.
Ndikura mu musarani kuko nari nzi ko abaganga bazacyenera kurisuzuma mu kugerageza kumenya ibyabaye.
Ububabare n’agahinda nagize nkomeza kubyibuka buri gihe. Ni cyo gihe cyangoye cyane mu buzima bwanjye kugeza ubu.
Ndi umuganga, ndabizi ko kuvamo kw’inda atari ikosa ryanjye, ariko ndacyumva nkozwe n’isoni nyinshi.
Hari igitekerezo mu Buyapani, ko abana bahitamo ababyeyi babo. Inshuti yanjye yambwiye ko kuko nashakaga umwana mwiza udafite inenge n’imwe, umwana atari kumpitamo nka nyina.
Numvise ari nkaho ndi nyirabayazana wo kuvamo kw’inda. Umuryango wanjye wavuze ko nakoraga akazi kagoye cyane kandi karimo umuhangayiko mwinshi, ko bishoboka ko ari yo mpamvu inda yavuyemo.
Inama ngira abantu, ni ukwemerera umuntu kumva akababaro ke, no kubabarana na we. Ntusabwa kugira ikintu na kimwe uvuga cy’umwihariko, mube hafi gusa kandi umutege amatwi.
Tida Samateh, w’imyaka 27, wo mu cyaro cya Keneba, muri Gambia
Nari nikoreye inkwi ziremereye ari nyuma ya saa sita, nuko nyuma yaho gato ntangira kuva amaraso. Sinari nzi ko kwikorera ibintu biremereye cyane bishobora gutuma inda ivamo.
Abagore bakwiye gushobora kujya ku mavuriro inda zabo zikiri ntoya, bakitabwaho neza kandi bakagirwa inama. Ibyaro byinshi nta mavuriro bigira ari hafi aho. Ibi bikwiye guhinduka.
Nagiye ku bitaro byo mu gace k’iwacu, ngirwa inama ko buri kintu cyose gishobora kuzagenda neza, nuko njya imuhira kuruhuka.
Iryo joro, nari nikoreye indobo y’amazi ngiye koga umubiri wose, ntangira kumva mbabara – nuko buri kintu cyose gisohoka byihuse cyane, no hasi mu bwogero.
Nari nagiriwe inama yo kujyana ku bitaro “umubiri w’inda yavuyemo”, nuko nshyira uwo mubiri mu gitambaro njya ku bitaro.
Ngezeyo banyitayeho. Ariko numvise mfite akababaro kenshi kandi nigunze cyane, kuko umugabo wanjye aba mu mahanga.
Hari umugenzo hano muri Gambia – iyo umaze imyaka itatu cyangwa ine ushatse umugabo ntumubyarire umwana, abantu bavuga ko wamushatse gusa ukurikiye amafaranga ye.
@BBC
